Lately, I have been writing about great improvements and progress. It has felt good. But if I’m being honest, I have doubts that echo in my mind during harder times.
If I let myself go there, to the doubting place, I can quickly become consumed with worries. I’m glad that this let-my-mind-travel-to-the-dark-place happens less these days, but it still happens.
I think all parents do it.
Today, I let a casual comment fuel that doubting place and I let it take my afternoon away.
This comment, disguised as an innocent question, shouldn’t have evoked these feelings, but it did.
It made me wonder, if I’m doing enough?
Am I pushing enough?
Am I enough?
Today’s trip to the doubting place, reminded me that everyone hopes that they are doing right by their child. They hope that their parenting style and the choices they make benefit their child and help them succeed in the future.
We all hope that, but I don’t think many people feel 100% secure about all their decisions. I think if you say that you do, you’re lying.
I’m beginning to think it’s a numbers game like gambling or counting Weight Watcher’s points; you do what you think adds up to the best odds, gives you your best bang for your buck.
Only by talking about it out loud, was I able to return to my more positive thinking and eyes that focus on the gains instead of fixating on the struggles.
Obviously, I don’t know all the answers, but I suggest that you try to avoid the doubting place.
My Twice Baked Potato 
Yep! The biggest struggle I had as a classroom teacher was the bureaucracy. I knew I did my best with my students, but I also knew I couldn’t reach every child. Teaching my own child is much more demanding because if I mess up, it’s my child. I have a whole new level of respect for homeschoolers since becoming one myself. Being a classroom teacher adds a layer of comfort, but it’s not always enough. Looking at the big picture and taking it one day at a time is how I roll these days!
Yes…I try to roll like that too, but I have to work at it 🙂
Give yourself some time. It’s a new learning experience for you too.
Thank you 🙂
Yes, doubting is such a horrible part of parenting. We’re gambling with the most precious treasure we have, hoping we made the right decision.
I have to remind myself that no matter what decision I made, I’d be doubting myself. 🙂
In reality, I’m thinking parents and non parents all have some doubt. You are so right about the preciousness
I’ve been there! Oh, boy! Ten times a day, like a roller coaster ride with sirens! Thanks for sharing with us moms!
And thanks for admitting it 🙂
I think if we all talked about the doubting place more openly, mamas might not be so hard on themselves!
Ah, yes, if babyhood/toddlerhood/young kiddohood parenting wasn’t enough of the Having Doubts, throw homeschool into that mix and you get a whole NEW set of Things to Potentially Doubt! I hear you loud and clear, and yes, it is EVERY parent.