If I’m Being Honest…

While I was looking on Pinterest for science experiments that explored force and motion, I came across a surprise.

There, was a picture of a school of little black fish going one way and a single one fish going the other way.  The caption said, “Do not conform.”

I know that this particular pin was designed to encourage; but for me, it was terrifying.  Conforming is safe and comfortable and being that one single fish alone…is scary as hell.

Consistent?  Yes.

Rule-follower?  Yes.

Predictable?  Absolutely.

Change is hard and uncomfortable and not something that I seek.  I don’t crave new experiences…until other options are exhausted. The decision to turn to homeschooling was huge.  It was the opposite of what I had planned for my son and family.  I expected that it might be a necessity once we hit middle school and all of the different classes and teachers and required organization became too much; however,we couldn’t wait that long.  He couldn’t wait that long.

It’s interesting to me all the emotions that are wrapped up into the idea of homeschooling.  The comments that I have received on this subject are more opinionated than any other subject.  I find it interesting how parenting topics (stay at home mom vs work out of the home mom, breastfeeding vs formula-fed) really fires people up. Maybe it is because we as parents, work so hard to make the “right” decisions, that other choices must be wrong.

If I’m being honest, before I was a parent…I didn’t get the whole homeschooling thing.  I thought it was a bizarre thing to do and I couldn’t understand why anyone would pick that for their child.  As a teacher who had received years and years of training, I couldn’t imagine a parent being able to do what I was doing.

I had lots of ideas about parenting before I was a parent.

If I’m being honest, I wish that my son was happy in a traditional school with traditional rules and activities and friends.  If I’m being honest, I think that would be easiest. For now, he isn’t and there isn’t anything easy about what we are doing to intentionally provide him with many learning experiences.

If I’m being honest, I wish that we weren’t driven to homeschooling, but honestly…I am glad that I am seeing glimpses of my happy, secure, smiling child.

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2 thoughts on “If I’m Being Honest…

  1. It’s funny how different people’s perspectives can be. I think school sounds awful and hard: you have to follow the school’s schedule, and drag your butt out if bed and motivate the kid(s) to prepare for the day–on time!, there’s homework, dealing with the behavior problems that will arise from spending 30 hours a week with a random selection of kids being raised with a huge variety of values, dealing with kids who do drugs and/or have sex at ridiculously young ages, dealing with bullying–which we have now dealt with from both sides, with the same kid! You have to deal with teachers who may be wonderful, or may completely lack compassion or empathy, or the basic comprehension of the subjects theiy’re teaching so that they can’t explain it well enough to kids who are struggling, and teachers who are overwhelmed with 30 kids so they don’t have time to differentiate if you have a kid who is graceless enough to be ahead, and administration that drags its feet or ignores problems, or outright causes them by discriminating against minority children or favoring athletes…
    Homeschooling bypasses ALL the drama. Yes, it’s a lot if work, and not drama-free, but you get to make the decisions, you get to be there when your kid is interacting with other kids so you can intervene if there’s bullying, you get to have the bulk of the moral influence, nobody makes fun of your kid for actually acquiring a good education…etc. etc. etc. I LOVE homeschooling, and even on our worst day when we’ve been fighting with each other all day, I wouldn’t give it up for the world.

    • As a kid, I loved school. I was smart enough that I could do pretty well without exerting much energy. For me, the focus was in the social relationships. Thinking back, college was the same.
      I loved school and my teachers, which is most likely the reason that I chose to be a teacher myself.
      What I didn’t realize, is how painful school can be for the introvert. The kid that always lives outside of the bell curve.

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