The Outsiders

The Outsiders, they just don’t know him.

They misunderstand his sensitivities.

They don’t hear his worries and anxieties.

They miss his imagination and sense of humor.

They overlook his talents.

They doubt his potential.

When you have a kid like mine and he is in the presence of  The Outsiders, he builds a wall to defend himself.  He enters the space with puffed-up attitude.  He waits to hear something, anything of interest and acts as though nothing is impressive. He has experienced the misunderstanding for so long that sadly, he has grown to expect it.

I asked for a meeting to discuss his school experience.  I am going today to see what can be done to change my son’s perception and to convince him that school IS the place for him.  I have been to such meetings before, going to ask questions and make suggestions; however, the focus is always on the “can’t” instead of the “can.”

I hope  today is different.  I hope The Outsiders will listen.

9 thoughts on “The Outsiders

  1. You are such a wonderful advocate for your son. I know that your plate is filled to overflowing, and you have been dancing as fast as you can, for a very long time.

    • I’m so very sorry. Many hugs. Hoping that you find a way and a place. And, clearly, learning is for him, as he is pushes himself in the areas of his passions. It’s just finding a match between learning and school or some other place where/when that learning can occur. So hard, often. Sigh.

      • It has been a long road! I will say that I got an email from his school counselor that helped. She said that she finally understands because she had a great conversation with him today and he explained the boredom and the frustration with so much. The counselor watched an interaction with a bright fifth grade student and said they were long list buddies.

  2. I don’t wish to appear flippant…what I propose is not an easy task. It is, however, an effective one. The world wants, more than anything else…results. Actively work on your son’s strengths. Have him excel in a specific area. Have him demonstrate that area to the world through their valued tests and competitions. His talents will no longer be overlooked…he will have proven himself multiple times in the tests they value. Through this, they will value him. Through this, they will see his eccentricities as creative strengths. They will respect him…they will remember him.

    A child who has worries and anxieties…has a deeper drive to rid himself of those worries through proper engineering of solutions. With a viable option before him…
    he will outwork all those around him…leading him to excel.

    A child who is exceptionally sensitive…has the potential for exceptional creativity.

    A child who has imagination, has the potential for solving problems in ways not previously thought.

    Although I don’t know your son’s strengths (Math, Writing…etc)…with the above noted attributes…he has the potential for the development of exceptional drive. Drive is the most important attribute for success. He just needs to have the specific path for which he has the most passion, lain before him, for him to discover…and excel in.

    He has the potential to be a great scientist…if his heart can be set aflame in that area.

    Perhaps a great Writer, Philosopher or Psychologist. Those who have suffered…have greater insight into the human condition.

    • He is growing frustrated by their constant focus on his struggles. We are advocating for a change in focus, but it hasn’t happened.

      We encourage interests and strengths at home. This is good, but he sees little reason for school.

      I worry.

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