Although I am not a fan of censorship, I do believe it is necessary in order to survive the upcoming holidays! With Thanksgiving and Christmas quickly approaching, I have already imagined things that I don’t want my son to say when family comes to visit or when we are in the middle of a holiday meal.
1. “I got sent home from school” It is always hard to convey the back story of a situation like this to family members, especially to those from older generations. Sensory issues, social anxiety and boredom are long discussions that don’t fit well between, “Please pass the potatoes” and “Love that ham!”
2. “Do you ever play Zombie Apocalypse?” My son loves video games and he plays a lot of different ones; however, he always seems to focus on the most shocking ones when company comes to town. Often, I feel as though I have to explain why we allow the game and about the benefits of video games for a kid like mine.
3. “I don’t do chores.” My son has responsibilities he must do. Is it a long list? No. Does he complete these jobs willingly? Sometimes. Trust me! As a veteran teacher, I know the importance of building personal responsibility, but we are still working on getting through the school week without major stress and anxiety. The weekends are often more relaxed and used for recovery. It is just where we are right now.
4. “When will it just be us?” As much as my son loves the people in his family, he likes things to be normal. Because of this, he can only handle so much time with those outside of our small family of three. This question is often delivered in a way that sounds rude and disrespectful. We are still working on this one because we certainly don’t want anyone to have hurt feelings.
5. “I hate school!” Although this is an ongoing issue in our house, it is an uncomfortable discussion to have with extended family. The gut reaction seems to be to try and help and give suggestions. Everyone means well. It is a complicated issue that will most likely need complicated answers.
6. “Did you hear me..?” Ugh. This is often followed with some announcement of a bodily function that no one needs to, or wants to, hear. This must be a boy thing and we must be smack in the middle of that age that glorifies his ability to make all sorts of sounds. I have been told, this phase goes on for a really long time.
7. “I saw Mama…” This story starter never ends well for me. We can just leave it at that.
I am quite sure that before the turkey is roasted and ready to serve, that this list will grow. Now that you have seen my hopefully-not-discussed-but most-likely-will-be-shared-anyway list, I’m wondering about your list! What topics do you hope to censor this holiday season?
First of all, I want to wish you luck…lots of luck! That seems like a whole lot of stuff to be concerned about, on top of entertaining and cooking and EVERYTHING ELSE!
My children are grown, so I don’t have those particular concerns. Ironically, my children might have their own lists to go over with their children…before they come to visit us!
Thank you so much 🙂 I hope you visit again!
I can sympathize with the chore comment. We have had chores, allowance, jobs, lists and everything you can think of and it doesn’t work. I just ask them to help when I need it and they do. The BIG HUGE GIGANTIC thing that always happens and everyone is shocked about though is that my son doesn’t eat. He lives on about 7 foods and those foods are not served at any holiday. I gave up making him sit at the table and yes we have had him in every kind of therapy you can think of. NO he is not going to take one bite. I get so tired of the looks of Wow that wouldn’t happen in my house looks. So basically just one thing on my list, but is can really ruin a holiday for me.
I totally understand the eating and sitting at the table! Now that I think of it, that should be added to my list. Blessings to you and yours no matter what seven things your little guy will eat 🙂
Boys and bodily sounds! Umm, yeah, that phase can go on for a mighty long time. Let’s see…I think my 24-year old is still in that phase which then gives my 14-year old permission to stay in that phase. “But Mom, he did it too!”
My eight year old looks for any excuse to share and discuss about his bodily functions! Your note made me feel better AND worse if that makes sense.