Mama Bear Mode

Recently, I wrote a post about my son being bullied at school.  I was saddened by the number of people who responded through email or comments with similar experiences.  This shouldn’t happen.

Like my son…

Their child told the adults and it didn’t seem to help.

Their child didn’t want to go to school and wonder…when would it happen next?  Where would it happen?  Who would stand by and watch?

Their child felt like it wouldn’t stop.

Some people reached out to me because they are worried about bullying.  Today, their child is too young, but my description of my son’s quirks resonated with them and they fear for their own child.

As I shared last week, I did not wait for the situation to fix itself.  I jumped into Mama Bear mode and contacted my son’s school, asking for help and action.

I was pleased with the immediate response that was taken to help my son.  The principal alerted the educational assistants that supervise recess and updated my son’s teacher about the incidents.  The school counselor spoke with the taunter and shared the seriousness of the situation.  In addition, she reassured my son that bullying was not tolerated.  She complimented him for reporting it and assured him that if it continued, more action would be taken.

For now, this bully has backed away.  He has taken his third grade posse, that stood by and watched, and they have moved on to do other things at recess.

On Friday, when my son returned home, he had a bit more bounce in his step.  It was good to see him walk taller and have less weighing on his shoulders.

I don’t know if this is over, but I do know that my son feels heard.

When do you go into Mama Bear mode?

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10 thoughts on “Mama Bear Mode

  1. I hate reading things like this. I’m happy that your actions have worked, but am saddened by the fact that you had to get into mama-bear mode in the first place. Seeing as both parents and educators tell students that it is important to speak up when being bullied, it shouldn’t fall on the parent to ring up the school when their child has already spoken to their teacher about the problem.

    In my experience, the best way to get things moving for any issue at school is to call and become “that annoying mom”.

    I hope your son can have some peace for the rest of the school year (and years, ideally).

    • I am a mom and an elementary teacher and I know that schools try to help and accommodate; however, sometimes a reminder of the rules and regulations are necessary.
      My son felt that he had tried to handle it in his own. He couldn’t, which is why I stepped in.

  2. One thing I have been taught is that your efforts to solve the bullying issue need to focus not on the bully but on the kids the bully hangs out with or the kids near the situation. It is very challenging to change a bully. What you need is to rally the troops around TBP and get them to learn the skills for standing up for others. If you want to learn more, I have a resource we can get in touch with who could offer some advice.

    So, sorry your little guy was mistreated. Sending you, him and the other parent who loves him so…good wishes and thoughts and a speedy resolution.

  3. One of my children was being bullied a number of years ago, and my phone calls to the teacher were pretty much disregarded. I probably should have gone over her head but my son was adamant that I not use names because he was afraid of further retaliation, which is a very real situation for kids. I didn’t use names the first time I called, but when we had to call for a second time I did. When my husband made the third call, he did as well. It was very frustrating to have her tell me that they kids were nice kids and that they were just teasing. Meanwhile my kid is asking to be homeschooled because it was so bad! Fortunately it was near the end of the school year. I wrote a letter requesting that my child not be placed with the bullies again.

    • I am so sorry that was the response that you got with calling! I was pleased at the response and although resistant to my involvement, my son appreciate it. I don’t know if the issue has been totally taken care of but I know that my son realizes it is good to ask for help. Blessings to you and yours!

  4. My daughter frequently reports being picked on. Fortunately she is learning new ways to cope and no be so offended by things that are said to her. We’ve also spoken with the teachers and they are keeping an eye on things.

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