Somewhere along the parenting road, I lost a bit of my “no” power. Perhaps it’s because my TBP has amazing debating skills and he argues information that seems to show he has a legitimate case. Maybe it’s because I have been testing out the whole “go with the flow” persona, even though that just isn’t me. Sometimes I want to be the “yes” parent more than the “no” parent. Honestly, it could also be that sometimes I am just worn out!
I have a dream of what summer is supposed to be and it hasn’t matched my current reality. I have found myself nagging and repeating myself in a way that annoys even me. I caught myself saying the same thing 3 times before I even got a “Huh? What did you say?” At that moment, I got really cranky and my voice got louder and squeakier; then I realized, that I was the one in control of myself and my parenting. It was not up to my kid, it was up to me!
I told my son yesterday that I was on to him and that the reminders and negotiating had to stop. Then he did something that proved action was necessary. He turned and smiled at me…not in a precious “I love you” way but a “yeah, you say that now” and “I know you think I’m cute” type of smile. What?!
Okay kid…you want to play?! Game on!
Today, there was a shift.
“If you want to play on the computer, you have to do your math, reading & make sure your room is cleaned up.”
“But that’s not how we have done it since school got out…”
“I know. My mistake.”
A smidgen of whining took place; I didn’t engage. Instead, I waited until the whining stopped and I said, “you know what you have to do and currently, you are wasting your own time.”
That phrase seemed to work like magic because he shot out of the living room and started on his laundry.
Now this is more like it!
At lunch time…“Can you set up the tv tray so that I can eat lunch on the couch?”
Nope…we are only doing that on Family Movie Nights.
“Oh, Come on!”
I smiled to myself knowing that things had changed. We weren’t in the Land of Make Believe anymore and my precious Prince Charming was forced to wake up from the fairy tale.
I know that I am not the first mother that has had these issues creep into her house, but I believe what they say…Knowing there is a problem is half the battle!