Recently, I had been reflecting about what made a great homeschooling day. Some days are long and tedious and some are filled with playful conversations and investigations.
I have questioned bedtime, sugar intake, gluten, length and timing of video games, exercise, and even the barometric pressure.
Honestly, I think all of these things and more impacts my highly sensitive son; however, I believe that our lives relationship is the biggest determining factor to the day.
If he wakes up on the wrong side of the bed, he can easily pull me down the rabbit hole with him. I can become frustrated and my attitude and thinking can mix with his and our morning can spiral away from us.
If I’m feeling overwhelmed by the day ahead, I know that it shows. He feels it.
My TBP has always been very perceptive. He could tell immediately if someone didn’t want to be with him or if there was even the slightest bit of disappointment in someone’s tone.
This was one of the biggest issues with his teachers in his previous school. In second grade, his teacher looked at him and spoke to him as if he mattered. As if she liked him and cared.
When she walked in the room, I watched his face light up. He worked incredibly hard for her and had a great year.
The next year, his teacher wore a flat expression on her face and seemed uninterested in his ideas or even his presence there.
This one variable, classroom teacher, was the deal breaker. For mine, the relationship was crucial and that’s where homeschooling helped us.
I reminded myself that this happens at home too. If my face shows interest in his new project, I get more of him when I push him in math. If my expression and voice tells him that I’m too busy to look at his progress, you can bet he’s too tired to give any subject his all.
Unless it’s a really hard day, I can turn it around and when I do that he can too…and vice versa. I used to think that his mood and attitudes determined the day but now I believe that my participation is equally important.
I guess it’s that universal law that attention goes where energy flows.
When I focus on the positives of homeschooling, we have positive days. When I feel trapped because of homeschooling, the day never ends well. Now that I remind myself of this, I hold more power.
Does this ring true with your parenting?
Yes, absolutely. And sometimes it’s so hard to pull yourself up out of that spiral! I’ve started to try to be much more deliberate about the choices I make when I’m paying attention to my kids and it does help.