Let me start by saying that I am not trying to insult or judge parenting decisions made by anyone. I honestly believe that we all do our best with the knowledge that we currently possess and that parenting is a series of doing-the-best-we-can-moments.
Having said that…I have been wondering about emails and comments that I have received from scared and worried parents about their twice-exceptional children.
Some, decided to make the leap and either unschool or home school their children. Many shared feelings of uncertainty and worried that they wouldn’t be able to do it. They made the change and now, it seems from the correspondence that they have shared with me, there are few regrets about their decision.
I don’t begin to suggest that homeschooling is an easy option, but for some it is the only option.
The part that leaves me puzzled is when parents of 2e kids continue to send their children to traditional brick and mortar school where they say their child’s needs are not being met. They are horrified by the treatment of their children and the inflexibility of the educators that they come up against.
Most that communicate with me, say they continue to tolerate this treatment and inequities because of their child’s social needs.
Again, I’m not judging because I too, believed this for a while; however, how long should “social interactions” be the only reason for several hours of tedious, mind-numbing dribble, that doesn’t celebrate interest or strengths and only focuses on challenges with intense purpose.
When does the bad outweigh the possibility of some good?
If I’m bring honest, my son’s previous school wasn’t really meeting his academic or social needs. They didn’t know how to educate him, even after we tried to educate them on the topic of twice-exceptional children. For longer than we should have, we bought the whole “he needs to be here to socialize with kids his own age” story. He had some friends that he enjoyed at recess and they saved spots for him at the lunch table; however, at some point, those small moments were not significant enough to make up for the rest of the very long, very boring, very painful day.
When he stopped caring about his friends and begged us to act, we knew the bad couldn’t be erased by a few minutes of good.
There are many reasons why families feel they don’t have the skills, finances, or patience to home school. Again, I’m not judging, I just want people to pause and reflect and really think about “socializing with same age peers” as a valid argument for hours and hours of misery.