Life as a parent is a roller coaster. We feel the ups and downs and the unpredictability of the sudden turns that can leave us feeling queasy.
Some days, all we can do is hang on and try to enjoy the ride. Especially, since we know that it will be over before we know it!
A few weeks ago, I had an especially curvy day.
I got a call from the school. My son couldn’t control his anger after being repeatedly taunted and physically poked and stepped on. He fought back.
By now, I shouldn’t take these phone calls and incidents personally, but sometimes I do. I know that the phrase, “and she is a teacher” is still part of the conversation between staff members. Who knows, maybe they even throw in the, ” if he had a consistent male influence…”
For whatever reason, I had forgotten the growth and the positive changes and I was swallowed up by the frustration.
It was a tiring day.
After dinner on this same day, I received an interesting request.
Because of my blog and the connections that I have made through this work, I was asked to be a speaker for an upcoming parenting Telesummit. I was supposed to share my expertise about parenting through positive approaches!
The timing was ironic. I hadn’t been positive that day. I try on most days and I can certainly encourage others, but I hadn’t done it with my own kid today.
There was a big part of me that thought I shouldn’t be included. I don’t have all the answers. On most days, I am still asking a lot of questions.
Over the last couple of weeks, I have done the interview and learned more about the project.
I have talked about this opportunity with family and friends and they tell me to accept the pleasure of being included. That my “in the trenches” experience as a special needs parent, might connect with more parents than the Princeton grad or the ongoing contributor for The Today Show. They reminded me of my mission to help other parents and that this is an amazing opportunity to do just that.
They are right.
I accept it. I claim it.
I am honored to be included with some incredible and talented speakers.
So here goes… if you are interested in this free parenting telesummit that goes live in January, check out http://www.raisethemstrong.com
Don’t forget to come back and tell me what you think! 🙂
My Twice Baked Potato 
Oh wow! That’s a really big honour, and what an awesome opportunity to pass on the knowledge you DO know you have. I think they’re right about your ‘in the trenches’ approach being far more relatable than someone who can just talk about it – you’re LIVING it.
And I guess it might be quite comforting for your listeners to know that you don’t feel you always get it right, and that you feel you struggle too. Solidarity, innit 🙂
Well done you.
Thank you so much! I truly appreciate it 🙂
I just signed up.
One question…how is being assertive in the face of aggression your son’s fault?!
It shows that he is being raised correctly!
To not stand up for yourself and all that which is right…is to learn to hate yourself…to have no self respect.
Your son did what he HAD to do to stop aggression…to stop the action which was FORCED upon him! He did well, not only for his immediate future…but for his long term self respect.
Bravo for your TBP!
My son was suspended twice when he reacted to an aggressive girl student. The principal said that because he wasn’t sorry and my son said that he would do it again if this girl was aggressive, that was wrong.
I disagree and told my son that.
Was the girl suspended? Did the principal give your son a viable option to deal with aggressive behavior? Do they have a workable bullying policy…and most importantly…has it worked for others?
With the known variables I have to work with from your article…your principal is dead wrong.
I hope everything works out for your son. I see him in a no win situation. He must allow himself to be bullied or face the wrath of the school. This will only make the situation worse for him. For the principal to blame the victim is plain backwards…of course, it protects him/her from civil liability doesn’t it? Just give blanket punishment (I am assuming the girl was also given the same punishment)…and so long as someone says he/she is sorry…well that automatically makes everything better…doesn’t it (sarcasm)?
I know I may be out of place here…but…here I go.
The principal is responsible for formulating a plan of action to rectify the situation.
The bullying happened more than once. The principal needs to call in all concerned (with parents)…to provide a means of identifying future problems (more staff to monitor student behavior…video cameras with recorders…etc)…
to have a solid written policy with the steps which will be taken against the AGGRESSORS not the unwilling participants (victims/asserters).
Of course, I don’t know all of the steps you have already taken. Whatever you do…make everything official. Official written grievances to the school…and to the district. You must always remember…nothing ever happened if it is not documented.
When the principal runs the risk of having to explain to his superiors about his lack of correctly handling a situation, as evidenced in its chronic reoccurrence, well…things often start magically happening from the principal’s office.
It is sad…but it is so often the case with many people. They simply don’t care enough to do anything…until it is their butt that is on the line.
Sigh! I agree!
No-the girl was not suspended.
Even though she was the aggressor. They were very bothered that mine responded “more severely” and “showed no remorse.” He wasn’t sorry.
The bad thing is that he is already talking of adding kicking to his repertoire for next time. Just in case.
The discussion is not over. We now have administration involved and are hoping for changes.
If changes don’t come, there will be more action taken.