Although it has been awhile, I remember my life before my TBP. Dinners out in trendy restaurants, laughing with friends until the wee hours, watching artsy movies, and escaping town for the weekend on a whim. Those times were fun and spontaneous, but we traded it for the life we have now. I wouldn’t trade my “mom” status for anything! But…
I realize that when I hear the “Arthur” theme song in my head or I am fed up with potty humor, it is time for a little adult interaction. Some people have worked out this “balanced life thing”, but after almost 8 years…we are still working on it!
I think we have a couple of hiccups that make it more challenging for us. One, is that we wait until we are close to the end of our parenting/work/home tightrope before we declare “time out.” I think we need to look at the calendar and plan dinners that would allow for a longer meal than 45 minutes with nonstop Mine Craft chatter.
Challenge number two, is that we don’t have a particularly large village of people and we certainly don’t want to wear out those that enjoy my TBP by asking too often. So we continue to look for additional help, but seem to be the only family that can’t locate that “super great gal that totally gets my kid” person.
The final deterrent really is my kid. He doesn’t seem to understand that sometimes grown ups want to just talk, listen, and think about grown up things. We want to go to a restaurant and not have to worry if the air conditioner will be too cold or the music will be too loud or the food will smell unpleasantly strong. My TBP seems shocked when we want to leave the house at all really. When we do return from an outing, he is so upset or just plain “off” that it almost isn’t worth it.
As my son gets older, I hope that this improves. I hope that he gains other interests and is able to tolerate more sounds, smells or crowds. This would allow us to do some of the things that we are interested in without leaving him home. At this point, we hesitate to plan a trip to a new location because it is very likely that my son would be so uncomfortable that we would not be able to enjoy ourselves. So…we stick with our favorites that we know work well or with locations that are close to home.
Now I know that this sounds like I’m complaining and after reading it back…I guess that I am. But I’m really wondering, how do other parents with intense children maintain the balancing act or do they feel like they are always walking a tightrope too?