Recently, I wrote a post about celebrating great progress. My son had been exited from Special Education and everyone was thrilled by his 5 months of consistent success at school. I was feeling quite confident about the progress, so I wrote about it. Two days later…things changed. It seems that The Universe has a funny way of reminding me that we still experience emotionally intense days.
Last Friday, my son felt that another student was teasing him. Although my son has a sharp tongue, he doesn’t take teasing well. There was a situation in the lunch room with a “friend of my REAL friend” and a physical argument took place. When I asked my son what happened, he said that the boy was teasing him and wouldn’t stop. My TBP said that he wanted the boy to know that he could not tease him again or he would “get it.” Actually, the one who “got it” was my son. He spent the day with the principal because he was the one that took the argument to the next level. Sigh…
I reminded my son that had he used his words, he would not have been in trouble. He was convinced that the boy would now “know better and stay away from him.” If only!
The unfortunate part about that situation, was that my son came home almost giddy that day. He spoke about how he got so much work done being in the principal’s office and how thrilled he was that no one interrupted his reading. He was able to finish his Pirate’s of the Caribbean book and even move on to a new book. He seemed refreshed, instead of his normal tired self. He did not seem to understand that the time in the office was meant as a punishment and NOT as a reward. The fact that he was glad that “none of the children could distract” him was a bit concerning and I hoped that this reaction didn’t result in a repeat performance.
Not even a week later, I got a phone call from the school that there had been another situation between my TBP and that same boy. Again, instead of using his words, my son reacted impulsively and physically. My son spent time in the office; however, he was not left to independently work. Instead, there was a long discussion with the school counselor and “The Taunter.” This was not nearly as appealing to my son as his previous office experience.
I think this was time well spent and according to my son, the two boys have worked out their differences. We also spent time as a family reviewing what “to do” and “not to do” when this happens again. I don’t mean to be negative by saying “when this happens again”… it is just that whether it is this boy or another student, there will be other times where someone says something that upsets my son. He must learn how to react appropriately by walking away, using his words, or asking for help.
We are hopeful that this was just a blip on the radar instead of a new trend. I ask you supportive and wise readers…How do you teach your child to ignore or react appropriately to teasing?