Right now, we are riding a giant rollercoaster. Our mornings are not “typical” at this point. They are either really great or really not. Today, the morning drop off went well. It was quick, to the point, and no scene was made. No f bombs or emotional outburst! Whew!
However, yesterday was a different story!
Yesterday morning was uneventful until arriving at the school office. My son’s anxiety quickly escalated and his behavior warranted the need to go back home. It was several hours before my TBP was back in class due to this very stressful morning. I have to admit that I was “not feeling the love” when I picked him up from school at the end of the day. The secretaries did their best to reassure me that things are getting better.
As a family, we have had numerous conversations about the value of school, the need to treat people with respect, and the importance to act in a way that doesn’t cause problems for other people. Intellectually, these conversations go well. But when it is time to put these words into actions… that’s where things can still fall apart!
Since there was no Mine Craft yesterday, there was a lot of extra time at home. I explained that his decisions impacted my abilities to complete my job. Because of this, he did household chores as I was catching up on work and email. He did his own laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, swept the floors, made his lunch, and completed his daily reading with little complaining. He was disappointed when later I turned down the offer to play a board game. I reminded him that I wouldn’t have time for that with all of the work that I needed to finish. Did it impact my day and work? Absolutely. Did I lay it on a little thick to prove a point? Yes.
I reiterated the fact that there would be no Mine Craft until positive behavior was taking place. Responsible behavior means the opportunity to work with expensive items such as a computer and/or I pad. Let’s be perfectly clear…I don’t enjoy when Mine Craft is taken away. On these days, the dog is followed and bothered, there is more whining, and the afternoon drags on. However, my son needs many reminders that when I say something…I mean it.
Parenting is a hard job! It is 24/7 and it doesn’t slow down when you are tired, overwhelmed, sick, busy, etc. I feel some level of guilt and embarrassment for saying this, but it is true.
In addition to the “parenting is hard’ truth, here are a few other truths:
- My son is loved, wanted, and is the center of my world
- He is bright, sweet, and caring and brings me great joy
- There are times when his actions are frustrating and disappointing
- I love being his mom
At some point, I expect that the morning drop off will be a non-issue. I’m sure there will be other issues…maybe even more irritating. Sigh…
I guess all that we can do at this point is hold on tight and try to enjoy the ride!
We ride the rollercoaster with our son as well, and I find it particularly frustrating when we can’t figure out why things don’t go well. Everything can be fine, until they’re not, and it is not always apparent why things changed. I do think you are doing well to show your son that there are consequences for his poor choices. Good luck and hang in there!
Thank you for your support and comments. There are times when waiting fir the other shoe to fall is exhausting! It seems that it usually happens at “important times” and the higher the stakes, the more likely it is for complications.
I agree, not knowing why something causes such agitation is annoying! Hoping things are going well for your family and the new job! 😉
I’m not sure what to say, but keep up the good work! I think he will come around as long as he knows you are going to stay consistent. We have our ups and downs, but some things just change when my son is good and ready, no how much I worry, stress and brainstorm new plans of attack!! Good luck!!
I think you are right…we are seeing progress in areas that wouldn’t have been possible last year!
Couldn’t have said it better myself! There are definitely those days where I feel like giving up, but then get right back up and do it all over again because I wouldn’t give up my sons for anything in the world, no matter how difficult they sometimes prove to be…You’re doing a great job! 🙂
Thank you so much! As you know, there are great days and tough ones…hoping for more great ones as we get into the routine 😉
I have been following your articles. I wish I had some sage advice for you concerning the outbursts. I simply do not. We never had to really face any outbursts. I will continue reading to see how you resolve the issue. I am learning from your experience…just in case 🙂
Shiroi -I would love some great advice if you had it 😉
What I know is that the “episodes” are getting shorter and no longer impact the classroom behavior. I hope they will disappear at some point. When I went to Curriculum Night at his school, the school staff all shared how pleased they have been with his progress. They consider these morning outbursts “hiccups.”
Hopefully we will rid ourselves of these hiccups soon 😉
Glad you are able to see the positive progress made as well as the bump in the road. I often find myself getting stuck on the bumps and seeing the forward movement. I also find those times when I have to stick to my guns and lay down the parenting law are some of my least favorite. But without those moments, I wouldn’t have the moments where my kids are well behaved and genuinely fun to be around. Thanks for your post – nice to know other parents share the same feelings!
Thanks so much for visiting and commenting! Trying to stay focused on the good days but those challenging issues do get me frustrated too. The inconsistency of the good/bad is still surprising and tiring but moving in the right direction! Come back again soon and leave more thoughtful comments 😉