Worry…Another Piece of the Puzzle

We had another morning filled with worry and anxiety about school.

He didn’t want to go, but we talked about it and I thought it was going to be a smoother morning.  He seemed to understand that it was important for him to go and to keep going, as we continue to work to make things better, more tolerable. Later, I learned that things fell apart when he arrived at the office.

Pleading and trying to explain how we don’t understand.  He says that we have no idea what it feels like to have so much boredom, noises and worry.

He’s right…about some of it.

Although I am more sensitive to sounds and crowds than most, it doesn’t impact my day-to-day living. I can enter restaurants.  I can go to movies. I can shop in stores.

Like him, I don’t like being bored, but I have learned to tolerate meetings on topics that I already know about.  I have learned to watch a show that I don’t find particularly interesting, but others in the family might. I might be bored, but I can usually keep that boredom to myself.

The worry, I know about that. These days that seems to be a strong emotion.

How can I help him?

Can his school understand who he really is and what he is not?

Should I home school him?

What will help him see the value of school?

Will it get better?

I try not to display all of my worries to my friends, family and my son; however sometimes it is harder to keep quiet.  Today, was one of those days.

As many special needs parents, I find myself spending free time researching what to do and how to help my son. We are reading an informative book by Dr. Dan Peters called Make Your Worrier A Warrior.  As I read this book, I shared with my TBP the examples of why and how other kids worry. He was interested and listened. It seemed to help, at least for that moment and I can hope that if he hears it enough, some of the ideas and suggestions will stick.

The book did a thorough job of explaining many different types of anxieties.  I felt relieved since it seems that my son is only experiencing a few.

In an effort to help his school better understand him, I sent emails to five different staff members with specific information that I thought would help. I explained that according to the book, gifted kids are more at risk for many types of worry and anxiety.  I shared that worry can look like avoidance behaviors or inappropriate outbursts.

Unfortunately, there has been no emails back from anyone yet.

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7 thoughts on “Worry…Another Piece of the Puzzle

  1. My heart goes out to you and your son, advocating is the hardest thing to do especially when you feel like your hitting your head against the wall and no one is listening. Keep advocating…sometimes it has to come from the top. It truly sounds like he needs some acceleration(boredom…which can lead to lots of free time to worry). If this school isn’t listening talk to other schools in your area or consider district transfers if you know of a school that can better accommodate him.

    When school is stimulating to him, then he will find value.

    Another great book is What to do When you Worry Too Much, it’s for kids. It helped my son get through some difficult “worry” streaks.

  2. Last year, you were saying he had such a good school year. So, is it the school or the teacher? Also have expectations changed for him as he is older?
    I recently posted about the year my older son is having. This past year or so I have learned how invaluable a teacher is.

    • I am sure that there are higher expectations; however, I truly believe that last year was so good because of his teacher. She had a great relationship with him and was so hopeful to us! Her awesomeness, compensated for the poor communication and lack of education& research that I am witnessing from most of the staff.

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