Like New Years Eve and the beginning of a new school year, I find myself reflecting. I often do the same on my birthday.
What I know is that the birthdays of today are quieter than those in my twenties. The parties aren’t as late in the night and they aren’t as crowded.
Those birthdays were fantastic back then; however, they would seem out-of-place in my current life. I have to be far too alert, far too early, to be out the night before with a thirst for many cocktails.
The birthdays in my late thirties were consumed with building a family. Taking the classes and reading the books, preparing our home and ourselves for “that call” and then the waiting. All of that waiting.
When you are a mom and the birthday girl, you’re happiness doesn’t come from the same things that it used to. I think about all the blessings that I already hold instead of what might be in a box.
It isn’t bad. It’s just different.
Like everyone else, I have had great birthdays and I have had hard ones.
The year that my grandfather died at Christmas, it was still hard to care about cake and gifts in late January.
The year that we didn’t know if our adoption was going to be finalized, it took everything to smile and appear to care about the cards and singing.
Last year’s birthday was a temporary distraction from the frustration and worry that we felt daily about our son’s school situation.
Today, I feel extreme gratitude. I’m thankful for my family’s health, the ability to homeschool, the opportunity to teach others on Fridays and be a mom on all the other days.
Today, I appreciate my Starbucks coffee that was delivered to me while I was still in my pjs. The family phone calls and good wishes from friends. The time with my kid since in my twenties and early thirties, I couldn’t even imagine parenting. You have to be selfless to parent and I wasn’t ready then.
So thank you for the birthday wishes! I appreciate them and the continued support that you give me.
Happy Birthday to me!