Although I am only working part-time, my plate seems to be running over!
My mother is staying in a convalescent center while recuperating from a broken femur, my son is still adjusting to the new school year, and I am learning the “ins and outs” of my new job in Kindergarten. At the time when I should be falling asleep, I make lists in my mind of all the things that should have been done. None of these tasks are as important as my son or my mother, but collectively…they weigh me down.
I try to keep up with the laundry, cleaning, emails, homework, puppy training, but things aren’t as tidy as I expected them to be with me getting home so much earlier. I had imagined with my new schedule…homemade cookies, a clean house, and organized projects with my son. So far…not so much.
Last night, as the evening was winding down, my son asked “Am I a king?”
I was surprised by this question and without thinking, immediately responded with, “No my son…you are not a king!” I continued by asking, “Why would you ask that?”
“I was just wondering,” my son replied. My TBP got quiet.
He finished his snack and his show and went upstairs with me for his nightly routine. As he changed into his pajamas and brushed his teeth, he was more quiet than normal. I looked at my beautiful boy. I noticed how tall he had grown. I noticed the way he completed each job in a precise and systematic way. I was reminded that it wouldn’t be long, before he wouldn’t allow me to be part of his bedtime regimen.
We each read a chapter out of the book that we are reading together and then I turned out the lights. It was mostly quiet, but you could hear the faint sounds of birds chirping from his sound machine.
Although he has had a couple of challenging weeks, at this very moment, he looked so peaceful…almost baby-like. I got up and playfully told him to scoot over so that I could lay next to him in his twin bed. While I laid next to him, we talked. We talked about home, school, and even a bit of Mine Craft. The sensory part of him took over. While he was twisting my hair, he told me things in the dark…that he sometimes doesn’t share in the light.
Recently, he has shared doubts about his value as a boy and a person. I decided to take this rare opportunity to reassure him.
“Do you know that you’re loved?”
“I know that.”
“Do you know that you’re kind?’
“I know that.”
“Do you know that your creative?”
” I know that.”
This continued for 4-5 minutes. At this point, we weren’t focusing on his struggles or challenges but his gifts. He grew more sleepy with each response. After several passing minutes, I knew he wouldn’t be awake much longer. I leaned over and whispered…
“Do you know that I think you’re a King?”
“I know that.” He responded with an angelic smile and within minutes, he was out for the night.
As I think about last night, I know that there will be many that think that I’m doing my son a disservice by telling him how AMAZING he is to me. But I ask those people…If I don’t do it, who will? The well-intentioned, but overworked teacher that is annoyed by his constant questioning? The librarian that doesn’t want to help him find more sophisticated reading materials? The PE teacher that insists that he’s a poor sport?
After thinking about all the self-doubt that he feels at this time, I have come to the conclusion that home must be a safe, comfortable sanctuary where he can feel like a king! 🙂
What a lovely story. We must be on the same wavelength, because lately I have been posting a lot of articles on our Facebook page lately emphasizing the importance of sincere praise of who your child is. Gifted children are more than their accomplishments and more than their struggles, and it is easy to get caught up in those. It is nice to hear you praising your son for being the wonderful person he is! He does need to hear that! 🙂
Thank you so much for visiting!
I couldn’t agree more with your comments! I am certainly guilty of getting caught up in all the struggles!
I hope you visit again 🙂
What a beautiful post. You are an amazing mom!
Rose…those kinds words mean a lot today! Thank you!
I agree with you…….you’re a great mom!
I have to admit that it was a memorable, sweet, important moment during a lot of crazy noise in our current life. Thank you for stopping by!
He is amazing! Our children grow up to be the people we invision them to be. Dream big. There are no boundries in our dreams. My dad and mom taught me that I can be what ever I want to be… I STILL BELIEVE THAT AT THE VERY FOUNDATION OF MY SOUL.Giving him confidence to move through life will make him the best he can be in everything he chooses to do.
Jill-thank you so much for your thoughtful comments! We have been disturbed by his recent feelings that he is “less than” and we are determined for him to know and feel special!
This is a beautiful post. I think it’s wonderful that you have pointed out your son’s strengths to him. When he needs it the most, he will remember all the wonderful things you told him.
Thank you so much! There have been other nights, where I wished that I had reacted a bit more like this…live and learn. Thank you for visiting
I think it is so important to let your child know how much they are loved and to give them positive feedback. Nice!
I agree 🙂
I don’t know where he came up with the king question, but it certainly started a great conversation!
I, too, agree. How well he is treated by the most important woman figure in his little life, will determine how he thinks other women in his life will treat him. If he is shown deep love…he will be open to it…and he will be able to give it. Love is so important in life…without which… leads to a colorless existence.
His goal is to not be merely a King…but a King of Kings…a King Arthur….a truly just and wise King. By living a just and moral life…he shall eventually succeed in being… a King of Kings.
Shiroi-I hope you are right! Your words are reassuring and inspiring! Thank you!
i LOVED this today! It brought me to tears, I have a similiar time right now… concussion from a car accident, school struggles this year… work etc. Similiar things you mentioned. I realized the only place he’s lifted up is at home and with so much it can be easy to cater to the issues. Yesterday morning I dropped him off and he paused, and looked at me.. gave me some “blown” kisses.. then looked at me again for a few seconds. A very serious look, just as your speaking of, walked around the front of the car and came up and gave me a kiss and hug good bye. Just like your son, he’s getting so grown up now, 8 years old and this was a moment I want to freeze in my mind forever.
This week I have seen an extra bounce in his step and I have realized that I was caving to the pressure of his school and not keeping the faith of who I know he is. A certain amount of events reminded me of that this last week. That he is who I am fighting for and who I know him to be and I will no longer let anyone cause doubt.
So this week, I have been telling him each morning who he is.. He is part of our family, we are proud of him, he is loved. No matter what anyone tells him in our family we do our best, but we know who he is and his heart. We love him and our proud of him.
Jen-Thank you for visiting! I’m so glad that what I wrote, spoke to you. I hope that you come back again! 🙂
We’ve been struggling here with a teacher who is less than accepting of my son’s talents and more focused on what he “doesn’t” do. I loved your words! I will remind my son of the king that he is to us and to the world! Thanks sharing this!
Thanks for visiting and leaving a comment! I have a unique perspective as both a mother and an elementary teacher. Because of this, I know that there are requirements that each child must meet, but I also believe that individual strengths should be celebrated even just a fraction of the time that we focus on challenges.
What a beautiful piece and you are doing a wonderful job giving your son the important parental support that I believe is important for children to have in order to feel safe and secure, loved and valuable in this world. Keep doing what you’re doing, Mama. You sound like a great mom !
Thank you for kind, thoughtful words. I try to be a good Mama…someday are easier than others. My upcoming post will share a new challenge that left me a bit speechless. Hope you visit again soon! Blessings to you and yours!
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