At first glance on Facebook, there are lots of Happy Mother’s Day pictures this morning. Overdressed little ones lined up by the front of the house or family members smiling from the tables of fancier restaurants. Handmade cards, breakfast made by little hands, and coupons for promised hugs and kisses.
But if you look closer, you see other Happy Mother’s Day messages. Different messages. You read messages of pain, regret, struggle, and loss.
Some, relate to those who have wanted motherhood so desperately, but it hasn’t happened. I vividly remember a couple of my own years through this very lens. Eventually, I was lucky; however, I know there are many still waiting.
Others, share what it is like to be a woman who has purposefully chosen not to have children. They have designed a life that focuses on other loves or passions. Work, travel, or four-legged children fill their lives with satisfaction.
Those who have lost children or lost mothers dread this day. The Hallmark card holiday stirs up strong feelings when unknowing strangers offer kind words that they assume any woman of a certain age span must want to hear.
Today, my Facebook feed is filled with words of struggle and guilt. Working mothers, single mothers, and mothers who watch their kids struggle daily.
Women hoping they are enough for their families. Relatives and friends questioning their parenting choices. Most of this pain coming from women, directed at women. We are so hard on each other.
So what do I choose? I have decided that today should be called Good Enough Mother’s Day.
Just changing the name allows me to take a breath. No high expectations or fancy clothes. No spotless house or crowded restaurants.
Instead, I plan on a quiet morning before others wake up catching up on favorite shows and a bit of tidying up. I planned on writing an overdue blog post too!
I hope to walk with MyTBP to Starbucks and take a trip to a local garden center for some flowers. This is the most I have planned and will consider the day a success if this happens.
So…here’s my suggestion to you readers. Change today for you from “Happy” to “Good Enough” or “Sufficient” or even “Happyish.”